#87 The San Francisco Treat Badass Adventure

My last post talked about how much I adore Florida. But the weird thing is that I still have this crazy wanderlust that makes me crave seeing the world.

I promised myself at the beginning of the year, when I was making my resolutions for a full, deep life, that I would push myself to get out and travel.

Working virtually gives me the ability to do that. So I decided to call my brother and inform him that I was going to visit for a week and work out of his home. Which he kindly agreed to. Poor, poor man...as if he had a choice in the matter.

We explored the heck out of San Francisco yesterday. I got to ride my first cable car, handing off the side and singing the Rice-A-Roni jingle, with Steve joining in, much to the rolled-eyes tolerance of the cable car driver. I have always wanted to do this, and now I can say I have!

I have also always wanted to see Chinatown. As a kid, we would take an annual family trip to Cedar Point Amusement Park my cousins Dave and Jon. There was a quirky ride there called San Francisco Earthquake where you got in a car and rode around a Disney-Esque track with animatronics pretending to crash all around you. One of the rooms was the Chinatown room, and for some reason, that room fascinated me. So finally, 40 years later, I got to see the real Chinatown in person.

We looked around for a place to get a bite and stumbled into a Hot Pot restaurant to try out some vittles. The server kindly dropped off a check-mark type menu and then disappeared. I pushed it to Steve for him to fill out. He pushed it back to me. It wasn't terribly clear what we needed to do, and with some foods listed as "Duck Blood" and "Pig Intestine", we wanted to be sure we knew what the deal was. We are both adventuous eaters but even we have limits.

Finally the server came back and asked if we needed any help. I responded, "Yes, please. What are we supposed to do?". He showed us how we select a broth and then ingredients to cook in the broth. Ok. Got it. I ordered spicy beef. Steve ordered lamb (which came in this adorable platter). We got a veggie basket, and I threw in a bowl of rice.

While we were waiting for our food, we visited the condiments station. One of the condiment bowls was labeled "Soul Sauce". I wanted that so much -- I mean, who wouldn't want a boost of extra Soul. But I feared it was soy sauce hiding under a typo so I had to skip that one.

What I didn't skip was the bowl of chicken feet. I reached into the murky liquid with my chopsticks and pulled out this beauty.

Well, when in Rome...

I figured since this is a very popular item, it was important for me to try it. I apologize to my beloved god-chickens Dumpling and Noodle, but I had to give it a go.

And man, oh man...oh boy I surely wish I didn't.

The experience of bitting down on a cold, leathery but firm bony claw was more than my little soul could manage. I think I said, "Hell no" a little too loudly as I put it right back in the bowl. For those who have had chicken feet before, what's the scoop? Do you bite through and crunch up the bones? Are you supposed to nibble the leathery skin as if I'm eating a buffalo wing? Please teach me, because until you do, this will be the stuff of nightmares for me.

However, the rest of the meal? Absolute perfection! Well almost. I was a little slow on the uptake and had a bit of a learning curve, but turns out, the slices of meat and veggies they bring you need to be lowered into your boiling pot of brothy goodness until a point when they are perfectly cooked, or in my case -- until I am able to fish them out with my chopsticks. The spicy beef and lamb were divine! The potatoes were also great once I realized that they were potatoes and that I needed to let them cook for a bit longer than the pre-al dente phase.

I had ordered a mushroom broth base, and it was glorious! Simply chock full of more mushroom kinds that I have ever seen before. And most were absolutely heavenly -- full of flavor, earthy umami goodness. And there were so many different kinds in the bowl. I'm only guessing which ones those were, but I think there were:

• Shiitake

• Enoki

• Shimeji

• King Oyster

• Wood ear

• Maitake

• Bamboo Fungus

Two I didn't care for? Here's my best guess for what they were:

• Snow Fungus (looked like a white brain and kind of tasted like one)

• Maybe Matsutake? (least favorite, woody, crunchy, with a strong sharp taste)

I miss that bowl of brothy goodness already.

We took a quick spin by the world famous Fortune Cookie Factory and dodged the line by peering inbetween the shoulders of those queued up. Getting the peek of the small room where people fold the cookies by hand was enough for us, and we set to wander the city some more.

With an amazing blue sky background, we saw Alcatraz in all it's mysterious glory, Sausalito, and the Bay Bridge. We saw the sea lions, Giradelli Square, and toured a sourdough bread factory. We walked through Japantown (didn't know that was a thing!) and laughed at outdated advertisements. (Steve quote: "Hmmmm...they are selling DVDs. I wonder how long that ad has been up.")

We attempted to grab a drink at "Dimples", which we decided was definitely worth visiting just for the name. The door was wide open, the "Open" sign was lit, so we started going down the steps to the bar. A big sign said "Karaoke Here" which made both Steve and me take a long pause. He turned around and threw me a pointed look. He announced, "Whelp. Looks like it's closed" and we headed back up to safety. We are kindred spirits.

Evening came, and we parted ways. Steve went to meet up with friends for dinner and a Cajun concert. Me to go to a show I found on the Atlas Obscura called Audium that promised a "feast for the ears" by way of an immersive sound experience.

Game on. Sounds like just the thing -- an "only in San Francisco" type of experience.

After being admitted, you had half an hour to walk around and fully immerse yourself in the sound experimentation and art exibits.

Apparently,this is the sound visualization of my aura.

This is the sound-making slime that oozes various sounds as you touch it.

There was a staircase leading to the bathroom that had various sound explosions embedded in the steps, land-mine style.

The room was full with various kinds of folks. It looks like it is a popular date night event. There were some older folks who looked like they wanted to be exactly anywhere else but there. There were some younger hipsters trying to be hip and having long pompous debates about the sound installations. The smell of pot and incense overwhelmed the room. It was uber hot. And it was uber loud.

Finally,a poor woman with a very thin, weak voice (I think this might have been a poor hire) tried and failed to get everyone 's attention for a good five minutes. When she finally did, she explained we were going into the sound chamber, where after everyone was settled, the room would go into total darkness. The first act would be performed, and then everyone was requested to go back to the lobby for a previous of the second act. After the second act was performed, we needed to haul our asses (my words, not hers, but I think that's what she was implying) back to the main room for the next artist to present a preview of his work before performing the final act.

Got it.

We followed her into a winding pitch black hallway where I kept crashing into the person in front of me until I realized i needed to hold onto the wall as I walked. The hallway opened up to a dome-ish room with concentric chairs circling it. I took my place, and closed my eyes, waiting for it to start.

The lights turned off, the room was pitch dark and everything was silent.

Until it wasn't.

What followed was 15 minutes of screeches, echoey pretentious voices saying phrases that seemed purposeful and smug, and random animal noises. I tried to catch a nap but the screeching chicken sounds didn't make that hecka easy. (Revenge, perhaps, for me trying to eat their feet earlier?)

Realizing this wasn't my (literal) jam, I figured I would slip out after the first act and head for home, but the mousy quiet-voiced worker lady had other ideas. This was not her first rodeo as she stood in front of the exit door, quietly but powerfully discouraging those of us who wanted to leave with her ominous presence.

Well, I'm here for a reason. I need to stop yeeting myself out when things are great in an adventure so I decided to wait it out and see what the next act would bring.

Lucky me.

This act was 30 minutes. Not only did it include the same types of noise effects as the first act, but it included periodic grating metalic sounds like you hear in the subway and a random singer who I believe had some kind of an issue with his Aunt Eloise, if I was understanding him correctly. Or maybe he wanted to "cancel fleas" or "handle bees". Dunno. Don't care. My mind was too busy planning my escape route.

I calculated the best way to get past mousy quiet-voiced lady (ie: I would firmly but politely excuse myself while checking my watch as a display that I had no choice but to leave due to another appontment.) Got it. Check. I was ready to go when Act two came to a literal screeching halt.

I marched through the main room towards the door when I realized not only the mousy quiet-lady was blocking my path, but so was Act Three performer, who beckoned me over, saying in a smooth as chocolate voice, "Gather here... Come Together...Circle Round". I slid around where I could hide out of his view and took my chance, bolting to the door.

Suddenly mousy, quiet-lady was right in front of me, kind of like when the silent but evil serial killer suddenly pops in front of the protagonist in slasher films.

I did a silent scream and did what I do best -- I got a wild case of verbal diarrhea.

I stammered, "I gotta go thanks for having me I'm going to write a great review on Google please let me out I want to go home I won't tell anyone what I saw here nice hat you have a wonderful speaking voice can I go now?".

She kindly walked me to the door while giving me fierce side-eye and set me free.

Am I sorry I went?

Nope. It was an experience that I won't have anywhere else.

Thank goodness for that!

All it took was 20 seconds of insane courage to decide to go, to walk around an unfamiliar city in the dark on my way to the theater, to stop by a wonderful Italian deli with a surprising assortment of gluten-free goodness, to laugh inwardly at my weird sound experience and to enjoy istening to Wayz in Chinese during my ride back to Steve's house.

As much as I love to adventure, more frequently than I like, I slide back to my default mode -- "Maybe I just want to go home and watch TV". But the times I push myself to do something different, I am always grateful I do. When I travel by myself, these are often the times that I have the most random experiences.

Recently on a trip to Alabama, instead of watching TV in my hotel room, I decided to go across the street to see the 25th anniversary showing of Titanic on the big screen. Unfortunately, they thought that it was a good idea to show it in 3-D with giant subtitles -- where neither the movie nor the subtitles were actually 3-D and the glasses were useless. Also, I was the only one there, not only in the theater but in the entire movie complex except for the popcorn guy and one creepy lurking dude who I unfortunately said a cheery and friendly "Hiya" to as I was walking by him, right after announcing what theater I was going to be in to the popcorn guy. My imagination had me convinced that creepy lurking dude would hunt me down and nobody would be there to hear me scream. Made for a rather special, but slightly unnerving, time. But Titanic was wonderful, and I'm so glad I got out of my hotel room to see it.

Likewise, on this past week's trip to Texas, one night I headed to downtown Tomball to find a unique place to eat. I went into a boutique first to look around and I chatted to the owner for quite a while -- her choice, not mine! She had many, many recommendations for restaurants to try but unfortunately couldn't remember the names of any of them. She was able to offer me directions to her favorite Mexican place, though, which consisted of: "Go down that street for a while, and at the yellowish building, you'll turn right...or maybe left...but look for a storefront that has the restaurant in it. It's really good and they will turn on the soccer game for you to watch."

So....I walked less than a block away to the famous, as seen on the Food Network Tejas Chocolate + BBQ. Word has it that the owner loved making chocolate truffles but it wasn't lucrative enough, so he started using leftover chocolate bits in BBQ and the new restaurant took off.

Twas yummy!

I have had a ton of mini solo-travel adventures but I have been trying to be brave enough for a while to take an actual solo vacation.

One night this past week, I was surfing the web, looking up travel experiences when my eyes came to a screeching halt.

A 14 day cruise to Antarctica. With stops in Argentina, Chile, Uruguay and the Falkland Islands.

OMG.

I was stuck for what seemed like hours with my finger hovering over the Book It! button.

I texted Pam for her advise. She said, "Do it! All you need is 20 Seconds of intense courage!!!!".

I texted my other friend Stacey. She said, "What the f*ck are you waiting for????"

So I clicked the button.

I'm going to Antarctica, y'all!

And I am thrilled.