#94 FIRST ANNUAL BADASS CHALLENGE EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!

Beth M. Grigg
Jun 15, 2023
5 min read

Updated: Jun 17, 2023

I'm hyper-competitive. Y'all know this about me.

And dem apples didn't fall far from the tree.

While Emily and Oliver seem like pretty mild-mannered, kind, and behaved children, put them into a contest situation and the BEAST comes out.

It's glorious!

So when they decided to pop down to spend the weekend with their old mama, instead of spending the time lying by the pool, we are going to spend the time lying by the pool -- while simultaneously having the

FIRST ANNUAL BADASS CHALLENGE EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!

Here are the rules:

I make the rules. I can change the rules. Be on the ready.
While sucking up is an excellent thing to do for your mama, it will not earn you extra points. Maybe.
If there is a tie or if a contestant does not want to do a particular challenge, they can opt for the "Truth or Dare" challenge -- which has been provided by our esteemed panel of Challenge Sponsors:
- Traci
- Kirsten
- Alice
- Pam
- Heather
- Kristin
- Eliott
- Kendall
- Wendell
- Margaret

3. Each challenge winner earns one point. That point can either be added to your own total or subtracted from someone else's.

4. Sometimes I will need others to make decisions on winners. So I'd like to thank our esteemed Panel of Judges for stepping up to help with this. (And, OMG...you guys were hilarious last night with the first judging!!):

Wiki
Julie
Margaret
Wendell
Ang
Cindy
Katie
Eliott
Heather
Ian
Kristin
Pam
Susan
Traci
Steve

4. Each player decides what they want their prize to be, but cannot tell the other player what that prize is.

Rules for prize selection:

If it is a tangible prize, it must be $200 or less. So think hedgehog, but not elephant.
If it is an intangible prize, such as making your opponent have to do something, it can last up to a year. For example, if you watch How I met Your Mother, Barney lost a challenge and had to wear a duck tie every day for a year.
There is a Mama prize. The Mama prize will kick in if I win the most points OR if either player defaults on the responsibilities of any intangible prize awarded. I tried to think of the worst thing I could that both kids hate, so I can proudly tell you that the Mama Prize is a two-hour non-stop footrub at the time of my choosing. I hope they default.

All I can tell you at this point is their prize selections are EVEN BETTER than what I expected them to win. And I can say for sure that both players are going to want to win. This will be epic!

Without further delay, here we go with Wednesday's Scores and Totals.

Challenge #1: GREET YO' MAMA WITH SOME LOVE

Goal: Outdo your sibling with a grand display of affection when you see your mama in the airport. Yes, they knew about this ahead of time.

Winner: Emily

Rationale: While Oliver ran over and hugged me 'til my ribs cracked for at least 2 minutes, Emily did the same thing but added a background song of "Celebration" and performed some dance moves under the Flamingo at the Tama Airport.

Challenge #2: Chug-a-lugga Retro Style

Goal: To regain the fluid lost during the flight by being the first to chug down a Capri Sun. Rules: You must use the straw, you must only use the perforated hole in the pouch, you must not spill any, and you must not squeeze the pouch.

Winner: Oliver

Rationale: That boi sucked that puppy down so fast that his little 7 year old self would be jealous.

Challenge #3: Ikea Tableaux

Goal: To stage a photo where your opponents are seamlessly integrated into an Ikea Showroom.

Rules: No climbing in cribs. Sorry, Oliver -- I shan't allow Emily to have to break store rules. Though I did allow her to break rules of sitting on the taped-off fake toilet. I'm the Mom. I can be hypocritical if I want to be.

Winner: Since I was a player, I could not make an impartial decision, so I asked our Esteed Panel of Judges to decide. I won. Thanks guys!

Rationale: How can I possible challenge the wisdom of the judges? Though I thought it was hilarious that both kids' girlfriends voted for their own significant other.

Challenge #4: Wii Mii

Goal: To beat the other players in Wii Party

Rules: Please, please, please let your mama win at least once.

Winner #1: Wii Wheel is Emily (AKA Invisanerd)

WInner #2: Wii Mini-Games is Oliver (AKA Oliver. Check out his Mii. Doesn't it look like him?)

Rationale: They won. It was displayed on the screen. This mama can't change that. Bummer.

Challenge #5: Grigg Sudden Death Family Feud

Goal: To guess the Grigg side of the family's "Little Known Facts".

Rules: Only guess when you know the answer. If you guess wrong, the other person gets the point. Instead of a guess, you can ask a "yes/no" question.

Winner of Colleen "I went to a heck-ton of raves and IDs a criminal in a police line up": Emily

Winner of Eliott "When in kindergarten, he hated girls with orange hair": Oliver

WInner of Ian "He said the f-word to his great grandmother when he was four years old": Oliver

Challenge #6: The Suck-Up to Yo Mama Prize

Goal: To get additional points for sucking up to yo mama.

Rules: The kids do not know that the biggest sucker-upper of each day will win a bonus point. Unless they read their mama's blog. Which they should be doing.

Winner of Wednesday's Suck-Up Prize: Emily

Rationale: Two reasons.

Oliver challenged my driving skills and asked me to pull over so he could take over the wheel. He wasn't wrong and likely saved our lives, but the boi could have lied and said, "Dearest mother, you must be road weary from traveling so far to fetch us from the airport. Let me take over so you can rest yourself" instead of "Holy f**ing D*ammit Mom you are a horrible driver, pull over now!!!". Life lesson -- in order to earn points in this game, you should always lie to your mother.
Emily, on the other hand, when learning that my prize is the dreaded 2-hour foot massage, looked me badass in the eye and said, "I would be happy to give you that 2 hour foot massage even if you don't win." Should I call her bluff?